#The way he calls himself gay guy

[purpurussy]

everything Dan said about labels in BIG was so extremely real and personal to me and people really gloss over a lot of it sometimes I need to talk about it more about it when I'm not exhausted

[eosphoria]

Month's have passed since I watched this heck of a movie, and this scene still makes me laugh only by looking at the screencaps

[nerdrooikat]

drabbles about the deer imagery in The Secret History (specifically in relation 2 Camilla) because her becoming a deer/believing that she did stuck in my mind (although this post will mostly take Camilla and the other's recollection of events to be as they recount it – if i examine it in it's effect as an incorrect account, that would be in a separate post)

Obviously there's, on a meta level, an irony to it – Camilla and Charles are named to make fun of the Princess Diana scandal that was happening at the time, and so ironically Camilla transforms into an animal sacred to Diana.

There's also a parallel that I think could be interesting to make between Camilla and Taygete, who for anyone unfamiliar, was turned into a deer by Artemis to protect her from Zeus' sexual advances. Although I think that what happened in the Bacchae was concensual sexually, I think it could possible be indicative in Camilla's narrative role as the "wanted"/"desired" one within the greek class – by Charles, Henry, Richard (although he wasnt there) and even Francis, although he wants to be her more so than actually wanting her.

Additionally, outside of how it actually functions within the story, her transformation into a creature associated so closely with innocence, especially in relation to Diana/Artemis' virginity, might perhaps be tied to Richards view of her as this "pure" and "virginal" person – obviously we know this is far from the truth, and he himself learns this later, but I think it definitely ties into this flawed angelic idea of her he so covets.

I think this interpretation ties into the myth of Actaeon (in terms of "deer transformation myths") although its very interesting to me that they different at key points – Camilla, the "virginual" character, is the one transformed, rather than the sexual transgressor (Charles) or the one who introduces miasma (Henry). But, like Actaeon, she is pursued and hunted – which, another key point – Actaeon is pursued and killed by his own hunting dogs, and Charles returns from the ritual with a bite mark, perhaps tying him into the myth thurther?

[lovelyoliviasblog]

I'M SO NORMAL ABOUT HIM I SWEAR PLS NURSE DON'T TAKE ME AWAY-

*I yell as I get dragged back to my padded room*

[thedevotionaltour]

i bring delight and whimsy to all my interactions < saying words insanely about a character in a way nobody asked to hear

[glsneeg-enthusiast]

sneeg and niki siblings is real to me

[dreamertrilogys]

that fact that he’s somehow straight is so truly baffling in ways i don’t even know how to explain. this is so awful

[yanderedrabbles]

Yandere Bisexual Best Friend

Male Yandere x Fem Reader He just wants what's best for you. If he has to tell a few white lies now and again, then so be it.

When you first saw him, he had his tongue down your boyfriend's throat.

It sure as hell would not have been the start of a friendship, except...

He was the one who ran after you when you stormed out of the club, mascara and eyeshadow running in silvery streaks down your cheeks.

He was the one who hugged you and apologised and said your boyfriend was a piece of shit for doing that to you.

He was the one who got you home safe, cleaned off your makeup and left aspirin on your bedside table.

In your half haze of alcohol and tears, you clung to him and nuzzled into his neck and told him you were so grateful, that he was such a nice guy.

It wouldn't have been the start to a friendship and maybe it shouldn't have been. But you called him the next morning.

You apologised for being such a mess, stuttering just a little at the deep gruffness of his morning voice. He laughed and told you not to worry about, that you should've seen what a fool he made of himself when his boyfriend cheated.

You weren't sure how, but a phone call turned into lunch together. Both of you just a little tipsy from bottomless mimosas, his arm tossed across the back of your chair as he sketched out the horror of his last situationship.

"So you're gay?"

You should have noticed it then - the way he narrowed his eyes just a little, the way he let his fingers graze your bare shoulder, the way he seemed to take just a second too long to answer.

"Yeah. I'm into guys."

That was the first lie he told you. Not entirely untrue. He was into guys.

He was just into girls too. And he was especially into you.

He could have been honest with you, he could have told the truth. But you were still reeling from your boyfriend's betrayal, too guarded and hurt to let another man into you life.

And he so desperately wanted to be a part of your life.

The next time you asked him to hang out, you were so at ease. You hugged him when you saw him, your tits squished against his chest. You held his hand and dragged him along behind you. You fell asleep with your head on his shoulder.

He smoothed your hair away from your face and any idea of telling the truth crumbled.

He told himself he just wanted to be your friend. Lord knows you needed one after such a nasty break up. But anyone who looked at you together could tell friendship was the last thing on his mind.

He took you to watch his favourite band performing live and hoisted you up on his shoulder for the encore, his hands inching further and further up your thighs.

He took you to his favourite club and bought you drink after drink until you danced with him, your arms thrown back around his neck and your ass grinding into his crotch. It was only the pulsing neon lights that kept you from seeing his hard on.

He invited you over for a movie night and pretended to lose the AC remote, just so he could share a blanket with you and keep his arm around your waist.

And the longer it went on, the worse it got. You were cute and clever and funny. You could yap together for hours about fashion and music and video games. You brought him little presents every time you came over - small packets of his favourite sweets, a new flavour of ice cream, his go-to Starbucks order.

Could you blame him for wanting you?

He started calling you his wifey, even in front of his friends. Would crack jokes about getting married if either of you couldn't find a guy by next year. And you went along with it. Ran your hands up his chest and fluttered your eyelashes at him and called him your strong, handsome fiancé - oblivious to the way it made his heart race.

When he walked in on you changing, he kept his face deadpan and told you red was definitely not your colour, even as you scrambled to cover up and spluttered at him to get out.

"Why? You aren't exactly my type babe."

Another lie. Not even remotely true this time.

And soon you got used to him walking in on you. Started asking him for fashion advice while you were in just your underwear and heels. Started asking him to tie your bikini tops and unzip your dresses. You didn't notice him always slipping away afterwards, one hand shoved deep in his pocket. You didn't notice the way his hair was always slightly messed up when he got back, his cheeks just a little flushed.

And if there were ever any warning bells - any subconscious instincts that told you he touched you too much, hugged you for too long - they were drowned out by his parade of boyfriends and flings. Why would he be into you when he could be dating a ripped surfer or hooking up with his personal trainer?

You never realised you were the reason his relationships were always so short lived. He couldn't fall for any of them the way he fell for you. They were all just quick fucks to get the frustration out of his system.

He could have continued just like that - fucking a new guy every weekend and getting brunch with you right after.

But then you went and met someone.

He froze when you told him, his smile a rictus, hand clenched so tight around his wine glass that he was lucky it didn't shatter.

He gritted his teeth and managed to choke out a congratulations. You beamed at him, flushed pretty with young love. You squeezed his hand and said it was only a matter of time before he found his love too.

He had to excuse himself after that. Had to splash cold water on his face and fight down the urge to scream. God, why was he so fucking stupid? He should have made a move on you ages ago, back when you first met. If you rejected him then, at least it wouldn't hurt as bad as it did now.

He somehow managed to make his way back to the table and smile at you like you hadn't just clawed his insides to shreds.

"So when can I meet the lucky guy?"

When you got up to wash your hands he slipped your phone out of your bag. He scrolled through your gallery, over analysing every pic of your new boyfriend. Cute, but you could do so much better. And he wasn't even that much taller than you. God, are you really gonna date this loser?

You kissed him on his cheek when he left and he spent the entire walk home rubbing the spot and thinking up ways to get rid of this new... disruption.

Later that afternoon you called him up and asked if he'd like to come to a bar with you and meet your new man. And just like that, the wild ideas in his head clicked into place.

"Sure wifey, I'd love to come."

He showed up late and spilled a drink down your dress before you even finished saying hello. And while you rushed off to try and get red wine out of satin, he scanned the bar for your new boyfriend.

And when he finally found the bastard, he turned on all his pretty boy charm. Bought him a drink and slung an arm across the back of his chair and pretended not to hear when he said he had a girlfriend. Managed to get the guy flushed and stuttering even after he claimed to not be into men.

When he pulled your boyfriend into a kiss, the fucker had the nerve to actually kiss him back.

He was careful with his timing - going in for a second kiss as soon as he saw the flash of your dress through the crowd.

He pulled away just as you reached the table and looked up at you with oblivious innocence.

"What's wrong baby? Why do you look so shocked?"

Your boyfriend shoved him off and stood up to grab you, to claim he didn't kiss someone else, the guy just came onto him swear to God. But the damage was already done.

Who would you believe was at fault? Your best friend who didn't even know what your new boyfriend looked like? Or the asshole kissing someone else while you were gone?

You threw your drink in your boyfriend's face and called him a filthy liar. When you grabbed your best friend's arm and dragged him away, he struggled to hide his smile.

He took you back to his apartment and popped open a bottle. Poured you a drink and kissed your forehead and let his hand settle on your lower back.

"Men ain't shit baby. We're all just manipulative assholes deep down."

He let you drown your sorrows in the bottle and then pulled you onto his lap when you were too drunk to object.

"I'm the only man you need in your life, yeah?"

You sniffled, too drunk and hurt and dizzy to notice his hands moving to your bare thighs.

"Yeah."

"C'mon, say it. Say I'm the only man you need."

"You're the only man I need."

His fingers slipped under the hem of your dress and he pressed his lips against your skin, teeth oh so close to your jugular.

"And I'll take care of you. So just sit still and I'll make it all better."

[sunnyjeon]

Jelly Cheollie (Jealous Seungcheol) A drabble, fluff stuff!

This is inspired by this video from twitter! Credits to the rightful owner, I couldn’t find the original poster. But this video is NOT mine! 🍒

Summary: Seungcheol is a confident man—steady, secure, completely sure of himself. So why does his stomach twist when he sees you laughing at another man’s words? Why is he suddenly rushing to stake his claim before it’s too late? Maybe, just maybe… he’s a jealous man after all.

I’m not a jealous man. 

Or at least, that’s what Seungcheol tells himself.  He’s pretty sure of himself— his looks, intellect, skills, taste, status. He’s steady. Secured– in all the ways he could think of. So why does his stomach twist when he sees you talking to another man?

He looks at you lovingly, so ethereal– he thinks. He had taken you out for a picnic, in a sun dress he bought you specifically for today. The sun kissed your skin beautifully, painting a blush across your cheeks and exposed shoulders. Your curls danced in the wind, swaying along with your dress. You held your cardigan in one hand, your other hand covering your mouth as you laughed at the other man’s retort. 

Seungcheol thinks you’re perfection personified. You looked so dreamy. Fairy like. You shone so brightly in that yellow dress that the sun shies away from your light. Your smile? Blinding. Your laugh? He wonders if the heavens echoes with it. It’s music to his ears, he could listen to it all d—

Wait a minute, you what? 

Seungcheol straightens up upon this realization. The picnic blanket dropped to the ground as his mind zeroes out with the thought of you laughing at another man’s words. He walks, no– sprints towards you. 

Why would you laugh at another man’s words? Is it really that funny? You even had to cover your mouth- a habit you do when you laugh out loud. He doesn’t remember the last time you did that when you were with him. Does he even make you laugh nowadays? Do you still feel the same way towards him? Is he too late? Will he reach you in time before you realize all these things?

His mind races with a million assumptions, his feet struggling to keep up.

You didn’t have time to react before he slid in between you and the guy you’re talking to. Seungcheol’s back is completely towering over your view. His muscles deliciously flexing as he tenses and crosses his arms.

This is troublesome. Given your busy lives, you haven’t had the leisure of time to spend together. But despite the schedule conflicts, he made sure to make you feel special everyday. Flowers, deliveries, gifts, constant messages, facetimes. Seungcheol is a very secure man but you know he’s been feeling a bit down because of the lack of time you spent together.

You knew you had to step in before Cheol gave out his piece of mind. Running a hand on his back, you gently call him out. “Cheol—“

But your friend interrupts. “I’m Jay, YN’s friend.” He extends a hand that Seungcheol sassily swats.

Seungcheol rolls his eyes, “I don’t care, I’m YN’s boyfriend”.

Cute, you think. You fight a snort as your friend laughs. Stepping aside, you turn to look at your unamused boyfriend. Your boyfriend is indeed a very beautiful man. His thick brows are furrowed, lips pout snarked, doll-like eyes still shooting daggers. His arms are still crossed, wrapping impossibly tighter as he takes offense to your friend’s amused laughter. 

You bite your cheek, fighting a smile. He could be such a baby at times. 

You reached out a hand, “Cheollie–” and held his face. His gaze softened as it landed on you. You feel his hand snaking up to rest on top of yours, his expression shifting as you continue. 

“Not that it’s any of our business but Jay’s gay,” you laugh.

His eyes widen, lips parting in an 'Oh.' For a moment, he panics. But then he sees your smile—warm, unwavering—feels the gentle caress of your hand on his cheek, and he knows. It’s okay.

 A laugh bubbles up his chest, he doesn’t know if it's from his silliness, embarrassment, or from the butterflies you continue to give him. But he doesn’t care, he lets it fizzle out. At this moment, it’s just you and him. It’s just you, your heart, and your love that matters to him. 

Choi Seungcheol is a jealous man. But if it means more moments like this—your hands on him, your attention all his—maybe he doesn’t mind so much. For you, it’s a privilege you’re willing to indulge in. 

[akascow]

dUDE okay pls watch this closely omg ??

LIKEEEE zaundads GAY AS HELL and it was lowkey highkey confirmed canon (this au concept at least) in the OFFICIAL ARTBOOK bUT its SO OBVIOUS W THE LIL DETAILS HERE AND IM LOSING MY MARBLES over this THIRTY SECOND clip UGH OKAY OKAY here:

ONE- not totally captured here BUT vander was fkn making silco’s drink before he was even back there or in frame omfg dude. also silcos gay lil drink cup HAHA

TWO- THE WAY THEY SMILE AT EACH OTHER WHEN SILCO WALKS IN brUH thats straight ROMANCE AND AFFECTION right there

THREE- silco basically DRAPING himself over vander and his finger playing on vanders shoulder pad OUGHH

FOURRR- silcos hand literally NEVER LEAVES VANDERS SHOULDER (watch his hand the whole time im going fucking nuts dude) even when he pulls its back a lil when ekko calls out vander for trying to kill him, AND U CAN SEE SILCOS FINGER tenderly move around a bit again OMFGGGG

FFFFIVE- the way they LOOK INTO THE OTHER’S EYES AND SMILE when silco says “greatest thing we can do in life is find the power to forgive” and vander is just standing there the whole time lovingly smiling at his beautiful husband WTFFFF they literally look like theyre about to MAKE OUT like damn

SIX ! AND mOST IMPORTANTLYYYYY- BENZO going aGH and giving Ekko A LOOK,, after that line... WHICH IS SUCH A “jesus christ you two.. in front of my SALAD ?? get a fucking ROOM” THING TO DO omfGGGG this guy has been 3rd wheeling them FOR DECADESSS

👇🏻still shots under the cut if u just wanna stare at them like i do:

and a gif i guess HAHA

[scaredbisexual]

Okay hear me out, steddie gym AU (totally not based on my experience, nooo)

Eddie needs to start going to the gym because he needs PT A LOT and so he signs up to his local gym and starts going a few days a week.

He feels a little overwhelmed and anxious but he does a few exercises his doctor recommended and feels a bit better. Endorphins and all.

But then he spots this Greek God of a guy who bench presses more than Eddie weights. So of course his little gay heart forms a little crush.

And it would be all great, maybe a little extra motivation but the guy… well, Eddie thinks he hates him.

He’s always staring at him and furrowing his eyebrows, sometimes he just looks him dead in the eye with the biggest frown and grimace. Eddie knows he’s not a real gym bro but hey, rude.

So he gets more and more anxious until he breaks and walks up to the guy.

The guy’s eyes widen when Eddie starts ranting about being mean and judging the new members of the gym. He calls him a bitch and full of himself and an Adonis and the guy gets more and more confused.

That is, until something clicks and he makes a little „ah” sound, uses his finger to tell Eddie to stop for a moment and retrieves his glasses. They are thick and make his eyes just a little bigger.

„Hi, my name’s Steve and I can’t see for shit without those baddies” the Greek God - STEVE - blushes and rubs the back of his head.

„Oh” Eddie mutters, blushing himself.

„Yeah” Steve chuckles. „Sorry for making you uncomfortable, I literally can’t see anything so I just zone out” he explains, pointing to his glasses.

„Shit, im sorry” Eddie mutters, praying silently for the depths of hell to open up and swallow him right this second.

„Well…” Steve trials off „I’m glad you did it. That way I could finally see you.” He winks, smiling a little.

And that’s how Eddie gets himself a hot hot gym rat of a boyfriend

The end

[metalomagnetic]

Canon Marauders meet Fanon Marauders

“I will kill him, James. I simply have to kill him. It’s a duty at this point,” Sirius whispers, at breakfast. 

James is morally opposed to murder, to say the least, but now when he opens his mouth to automatically tell Sirius he can’t kill people, the Abomination walks into the Great Hall, and James closes his mouth, with a sigh. 

He condones it. 

“Can you kill me, too, please?” Remus asks, as he watches his counterpart walk behind the Abomination. 

“Oh, come on! The Other You isn’t so bad.” 

“They’re all bad,” Peter mutters. “Just unbearable to watch.” 

They’ve only arrived in this cursed universe the day before, but it’s already too much to suffer. 

When Sirius met this universe’ version of himself, he had to be restrained from committing unspeakable violence. 

“What’s with the pranks?” James wonders. “Look, they’ve only just entered the Hall and they’ve already pulled a few pranks.” 

“You call those pranks?” Sirius sneers. “Those lame jokes?” 

“They probably take the ‘prankster’ label too seriously,” Peter bemoans. “And I’m missing again. It’s like I don’t even exist here, like those guys forget I’m their best friend.” 

After the Other Sirius, Other Peter was done the dirtiest. He’s much uglier than the real one, far shorter, and so stupid Sirius thinks he shouldn’t even be allowed to attend school. 

Not that Other Sirius is smart- oh, no. Other Sirius is a moron, apparently allergic to books. 

Remus got an upgrade- he’s now a wise genius to rival Dumbledore, and he spends his days giving people chocolate frogs.

It’s a wonder the Abomination is so thin, with how much chocolate he’s getting from Other Remus. 

So thin and short. 

“Why am I short?” Sirius growls. “I don’t know mate, it’s like the creator of this universe misremembered our heights and switched them around,” Remus offers, watching his other self, a very tall bastard. He’s even taller than Real Sirius. 

Outrageous. 

“I could suffer you short,” James says. “But look at him, he’s - why is he so…is that ...nail polish? Gods, what have they done to my Sirius!” 

“I asked him if he still has the bike,” Peter whispers. “He said he does, but I mean- he’s so fragile and dainty, how does he even manage that monster bike?” 

Sirius shakes his head in horror. “I have to kill him, there’s no way around it.” 

The Other Sirius whines in the distance. “MOOOOONY,” he pouts, and that's it, Sirius stands-

“Not here,” James pulls him by his sleeve. “You can’t have witnesses.” 

(-)

It takes them a few days to figure out what’s wrong with Other James. At a first glance, he looked normal, compared to the others. Almost unchanged from his real version, if only stupider. But not as stupid as Other Sirius and Other Peter, of course. 

A chicken wouldn’t be dumber than those guys. 

When they do figure it out, James throws up. 

“There, there,” Sirius pats his back. “Breathe, mate. Breathe.” 

“I’m fucking your brother! Your brother, Sirius!” 

“Oh, no, that is not my brother. That is Other Brother.” 

This version of Regulus is apparently not a bigot at all, it’s all just a big misunderstanding. He’s an Animagus, too, somehow. 

Sirius actually thinks Other Regulus is an alright lad- nothing like his brother, mind you, but alright, in general. 

James throws up again. “Me! With Regulus Black! I’m not even gay! I love Lily, and she loves me-” 

“Well, apparently she’s gay, too, in this world.” Remus says, which only makes James cry.

That isn’t so bad, really. Many things are wrong with this universe, but Lily and Dorcas look hot together. Sirius had a wank thinking of them the other night. It’s fine, he tells himself. He’s not betraying James. This Lily is nothing like their Lily back home. This one is like a goddess of beauty here, hair far more vibrant than the Real one, flawless skin and overall perfect in everything she does. Extremely selfless, saint-like, to the point she apparently offered to carry Regulus’ and James’ baby after Hogwarts.

Real Lily would hate her. 

She’s still not worse than Other Sirius. Nothing is worse than that. Real Sirius has taken to bullying Other Sirius, daily. Hourly. The Abomination whines about it to Other Remus all the time. 

“I want a word,” Other Remus hulks over, ridiculously muscular and, for some reason, with scars on his face. 

What the fuck happened to this bloke? Who even is he?

Real Remus slinks back. He was never one for confrontations, their Remus, but apparently this upgraded version is all up for it. 

“Listen,” Sirius tells him, because he doesn’t hate the man- sure, he’s not Remus, but he seems like a nice lad. “Why do you put up with that insufferable drama queen? He deserves to hang, and you deserve better.” 

“That’s my baby! That’s my Pads,” Other Remus says, suddenly all violent, his eyes turn yellow- what the actual fuck? 

But Sirius is already nauseous, stomach turning as soon as he heard ‘baby’ and ‘Pads”  coming out of his mouth. 

Real Remus cheers from the sidelines as Sirius wipes the floor with Other Remus. The Abomination cries somewhere in the distance, all helpless, until Real James hits him over the head with a candlestick. Other James is too busy sucking Other Regulus’ face to notice anything. 

(-)

Other Snape has a split personality, as if someone out there can’t decide if he’s evil reincarnate or a mewling, innocent boy. 

It’s jarring to see the shifts, day to day, and Sirius doesn’t know which version he hates more. 

He never thought he’d miss Snape, but he does. He misses their Snape, gods damn it, the Real one. 

(-)

He finds out his parents- or at least his parents in this world- torture Other Sirius on a daily basis. With the Cruciatus, even. 

Other Regulus tells him this, all traumatised. 

“Well,” Sirius says, shocked to the core. He almost laughs at the absurdity of it. “To be fair, if I had a son like the Abomination, I’d torture, him, too.” 

(-)

Dumbledore is Evil. But stupidly so. Even a random eleven year old saw through his evil plans and humiliated Dumbledore at breakfast. Some smart arse kid, who’s apparently Lord Potter Black Gaunt Slytherin, and talks like an eighty year old politician. Apparently Dumbledore stole his money or something. 

“I wonder how Other Voldemort is like,” James says, anxious to consider it. 

“I don’t even care,” Peter says. “We should join him. It’s either him, or siding with these lunatics.” 

They all nod in agreement. Voldemort can’t be worse- nothing can be worse than Other Sirius and Evil Stupid Dumbledore.  

(-)

There’s two Voldemorts. 

One is practically a ‘cartoon character’ Remus says. Sirius has no idea what that means.

This Voldemort is Ridiculously Evil. 

Insane Bellatrix is his most loyal. For some reason Insane Bellatrix cackles all the time, and mutters about blood and the Cruciatus under her breath. She’s also dressed like a slut. 

Real Bella, like the aristocrat she is, would never be caught looking like that in public. 

Sirius takes her aside to have a few words with her, and then he finds out apparently she, too, was tortured daily by her parents, like Other Sirius. 

“And raped,” she remembers, with a shrug.  

Wow, and Sirius thought the Real versions of the Blacks were bad, but these people take the fucking cake. 

If the Real Blacks would find out what these Other Blacks are doing to their children, there’ll be hell to pay. 

His mum is a right basket case back in his world, insufferable and cruel with her words, unreasonably strict, but if she’d ever find out another version of herself is torturing her children- why, she’d cut that bitch in pieces. 

(-)

The second Other Voldemort is some misunderstood good guy with a sob story. He whines about his tragic childhood as much as Other Sirius. 

At least this Other Voldemort is still tall, unlike Other Sirius. 

“It’s all Dumbledore’s fault,” he ends a monologue. “He made me do all I did. Or-” he checks a list. “Apparently sometimes he simply framed me and I didn’t do anything at all. Also, you can call me Tom, in private,” he invites them. 

It’s a tragic state of affairs. 

They decide to join Ridiculously Evil Voldemort, simply because he’s the only one that wouldn't protest to murdering everyone. He talks about murder every single day, and Sirius promises him he’ll do anything If he’s allowed to kill Other Sirius. 

“Oh, by the way, you should deal with Good Guy Voldemort.” 

“With who?” 

“You know, the hotter you, the one that’s innocent of all wrongs and calls himself Tom.” 

Evil Voldemort has a heart attacks and dies. 

(-)

They’re on the run from everyone in that crazy world, when a hooded figure enters their tent.  

“Is it you? Is it really you?” the man asks. “Potter? Black? Lupin? Pettigrew?’ 

“Yes, it’s us.” 

The person lowers his hood. It’s Snape. Real Snape. With greasy hair and a large nose, but with intelligent, sharp eyes.

There’s no ‘Victim’ stamped on his forehead, nor is he an evil arrogant bastard, like the Other Snape.

“Fuck, Snivellus! A sane person! I could hug you!” 

“I’d rather not,” Snape spits at James. “Alas, I am...relieved to have found you. We need to work together. I came here after you-” 

“Of course you did, you berk! You were stalking us, as usually, weren’t you?” 

“Yes,” Snape says, unashamed. “I killed the Other me.” 

“Good job. I killed the Other me, too,” Sirius boasts. “I took my time with him.” 

“I killed Other Lily,” Snape says. “She had to go. She was all ...wrong.” 

James sniffles. “She was.” 

And then they all sit down, and plan how to kill Good Guy Voldemort and Evil Stupid Dumbledore. 

[sohasters]

🥒✈️Cumplane Secret identity AU???

Peerless cucumber becomes so notorious that he starts getting Airplane notices semi-regularly. Airplane needs some extra cash so he starts doing vtube/voice change streams where he draws PIDW characters, comics, monsters etc - he's a talented baby what can I say, and he gets a decent stream following, offering sneak peeks at his creative process - but he really doesn't want his face and ID as an erotica writer out there thank you!!!

Peerless Cucumber is absolutely ridiculous in his chat, ubiquitous, always there the second he starts streaming. Constantly dropping huge donos to ask ridiculous lore questions that literally go on for minutes... riding herd on other chatters and policing people... Eventually him being "worst mod" becomes a meme, and Airplane mods him mostly as a joke.

They start messaging, and weirdly it's not hellfire? Modding the channel is the first actually constructive thing Shen Yuan has done, like, ever. It turns out that when he has actual responsibility, he takes it pretty seriously? He's more reliable than anyone, especially himself, could have expected him to be? Everyone still clowns in him and calls him "worst mod", "everyone tell the mods they suck" but it starts to be affectionate, because he actually helps detoxify the community a little? (Only HE is allowed to be toxic on airplane's channel!!)

He decides to take a media and communications degree because social media is the only thing he's ever been good at. He sees a guy with a PIDW sticker on his laptop in his lectures, and they become study buddies! It's great!

They talk about their shared appreciation for PIDW probably more than they should. Study Buddy is pretty chill, he teases Shen Yuan for his BingGe obsession. Shen Yuan doesn't want to be a dick, so he doesn't really slag it off as much as he would online? And Study Buddy LIKES talking about the monsters and how cool Bing-gege is!! Maybe they talk enough that Shen Yuan figures maybe there's a reason he was never into wife plots? Maybe he's actually just... Not into... You know.... Girls? That way??? And Study Buddy is super chill? And maybe it's okay to talk about that stuff???

Meanwhile he's still chatting with airplane, who gets invited to attend a con to be on some kind of panel. He asks cucumber-bro along because he's shitting BRICKS, and he wants someone there who will, like... be in his corner?

Turns out Shen Yuan already has tickets because he and his study buddy were planning to go!

Oh, and look at that! He and airplane are booked at the same hotel! It's convenient!

They decide to meet in the lobby.

Shen Yuan and his study buddy go to their separate rooms to freshen up and rest, with a plan to meet for breakfast. Thirty minutes later, they're both back in the lobby.

Both of them are "waiting for someone."

Both of their "someones" are running LATE.

Shen yuan messages Airplane.

Study Buddy's phone buzzes.

Their eyes meet.

No fucking WAY. this is the guy who talked him through his LBH inspired GAY AWAKENING!! The friendly and supportive "bro" he has COMPLICATED FEELINGS ABOUT??? And that's AIRPLANE?

He literally spent five minutes TALKING ABOUT LBH'S MUSCULAR CHEST AND STAR STUDDED GAZE... to AIRPLANE????

Has he really spent MONTHS coming to the terms with the fact that AIRPLANE is kinda....

Could Bingge maybe portal in with Xin Mo and drag Shen Yuan to hell, because he can't deal with this 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

[occamstfs]

Trendy Mustache

Grant was sick of seeing hot guys with mustaches. After being summarily mocked by his friends he opts to grow one, but after clicking on a targeted ad it turns out that facial hair isn't the only thing growing.

Short and simple ode to hot men with mustaches. Muscle growth and mind/reality change. Hope you enjoy! -Occam

Grant had just gotten home from a massive blowout argument with his friends. After seeing one too many clout-chasing gay gym influencers on his for you page touting a brand new mustache, the man without a muscle on his bony body swears he’d look just as good with some new facial hair. He was thoroughly mocked.

In fact, Grant was almost laughed out of the room. Both for suggesting that he could pull it off, but more importantly, for the fact that he couldn’t grow one even if he wanted to. Rather than admitting defeat and taking it in stride, he left early from lunch and is now sulking to himself on the way home. It’s on this small trek that he comes across an ad that must’ve been generated for him after hearing their argument. “Be a new man! $25.99! Start growing some new hair today!!1!” 

Half curious he purses his lips he clicks on the clear spam just to see what ai-generated garbage the ad must be serving up. Obviously this wasn’t the move as the app immediately scans his face and confirms his purchase. Twenty six dollars lighter, Grant curses the rotten scam and starts tabbing his way over to his banking app to demand a refund.

Before he gets there though he stumbles forward as he’s suddenly struck woozy. Stumbling onto a bench nearby, Grant is far too light headed to notice the slow regrowth of patchy peach-fuzz he’s scarcely let grow in a decade beginning to poke out of his upper lip. Eyes almost crossing he groans as he falls to his side on the bench, losing consciousness as his phone clatter to the earth.

He can’t tell if it comes from the speaker of his fallen cell or if it is simply echoing from some deep pit of his mind. But a deep voice that sounds uncomfortably close to his own cries out, “Gotta start growin now to prove ‘em all wrong…”

He awakens in his own bed, shooting up sweaty and panting as his mind is foggier than it’s been during his worst hangovers. Groaning, he wonders if he has a cold as his whinging sounds slightly deeper to his ears. Stumbling to his feet he rubs his face with his arm and almost falls to the floor as he feels the unmistakable scratch of stubble cut through the haze.

He stumbles into the bathroom and stares in shock at his reflection. Slightly darker than the hair on his head, decidedly thicker than it’s ever been before he balks at the clear beginnings of a mustache starting to decorate his upper lip.

His gaping mouth quivers into a smirk as he imagines how good he’ll feel rubbing his new look in his friend’s faces. Only then does he pause to realize that there’s something else strange about his reflection. Leaning in close he tears his eyes away from his new facial hair to notice the other oddities. It’s almost like he’s standing taller in the bathroom, is his jaw sharper too? 

Before he can inspect too closely however the fog returns to his mind in full force as his mind rings with a headache once more. The voice he can only faintly remember calls out once more, “Need to head to the gym. Get a pump in so we can show ‘em we can do it.”

He nods to himself, agreeing with this thought he didn’t think. Ignoring how his throat feels dry, how his quiet grunt sounds even deeper as he wordlessly moans to himself. Shaking off his stupor he looks down to find himself already dressed for the gym, in clothes that are far too big. His shorts barely hang on his waist, his shirt drapes across his thin shoulders, and his shoes have so much extra room it’s a wonder they’re even able to stay on.

Nevertheless, any thought to change or remove a piece of clothing is met with immediate distraction. Soon enough he forgets his discomfort with the outfit at all. He just shakes off the delirium and begins to head out, slightly stumbling on the too big shoes. Reaching for his keys his hand stings as a static shock, trying again his arm locks up a few inches away, “Nahh nah. Gotta run. Get cardio out of the way.”

Again, Grant finds himself nodding along. Yeah, better to run, it’ll be just like when I was back in high school track. Stepping out of his apartment it isn’t until his stumbling steps hit the concrete does he begin to  question the strange thought, he wasn’t in track was he? He was more a mathlete than any kind of track star. That he knows.

And yet, with each step that idea begins to change. Just as soon as his legs begin to adjust to his shoes being too large do they begin to feel fitting, comfortable even. He continues to try and remember if he was in track or not and with each pounding step forward his lower body begins to  make the answer more than clear.

Grant grimaces as he feels his growing feet truly fill the tennis shoes they were once drowning in. His calves slowly begin to bounce larger as they are bulge tight with lean, baseball sized muscle. Above them the shorts that barely hung onto his waist are filled with thighs that punch as powerful as pistons, almost stretching his new shorts to tearing as he finds himself unable to stop his jog to the gym.

Panting, Grant looks down and furrows his brow in shock as he sees a lower body unrecognizable to the legs he went up with. He bounces higher as they continue to lengthen and grow, all the while his heavy breaths sound deeper to his ears. These are not the only ongoing changes. 

The mustache on his face that presumably began all these strange changes has continued to thicken. Launching well past peach fuzz and stubble, it has continued to grow. In the few minutes since he left his house it has become something that would have taken months, no years of growth. Sweat drips down his forehead as his brows change in turn, darkening as the sweaty hair on his head begins to restyle itself as well. 

Growing weary from his short jog, his body struggles to begin its next round of changes as the deep voice in his mind begins anew “great work so far. Now you gotta pump up what our fans are all about. Show the world your massive new pecs dude.”

Stumbling onward on wider feet, his foggy brain struggles to decide which part of the strange statement to get hung up on, he absolutely doesn’t notice how underneath his new stache that his lips mouthed along to the voice that is not his own growing louder in his mind. As his newly furry brows knit together in thought, his grand transformation continues unimpeded.

The whole of his upper body begins changing at once, slightly chaffing nipples begin to burn as they are rapidly pushed into a tank top growing tighter with each racing step. Grant tries to remember a single moment in his life where he exercised enough for any muscle to pack on his chest and at first comes up with nothing. As the pecs continue to pump larger with every gasping breath and swing of a lengthening arm, memories begin to race through his mind.

Obviously he’s been working on those bad boys for years! Looking down seeing how his juicy pecs glisten with sweat he knows that’s what it’s all about. There’s a wide smirk on his face as he imagines his legions of fans obsessing over his perfect picturesque chest. He flexes them to himself and almost starts drooling as he too can’t help but admire them.

At the same time, his arms cutting through the air begin to do so with far more precision and strength. No longer the pathetic stick thin bones they have always been. No. they are his pride and joy. A lifetime at being mocked for weakness is erased from his mind as he can just picture how many times he’s shown some tough guy what it’s like to lose in an arm wrestle.

Biceps emerge from his noodle arms, hanging from a back bursting wider. In no time at all they surge into something to truly be proud of, something that anyone attracted to men couldn’t help to obsess over. He almost falls as he struggles to grow accustomed to just how massive his upper body now is. He clearly recalls men that he once was intimidated by coming to him for tips. Realer than anything he recalls showing off for them, flexing and watching stars fill their eyes before he showed them how it’s done.

His mouth falls open as he continues to pant as he tries to remember why he was ever intimidated by those big men. After all, he’s always been a king hasn’t he? He’s always been a star. Wiping his mouth, from drool or sweat it’s unclear, he again feels the mustache on his face and smirks.

To think those bitches thought he couldn’t pull it off. He can pull anything off! The voice that has been whispering orders and fanning flames in his mind laughs louder than anything, well, almost anything. The guffaws issuing forth from his mouth in reality are quite a bit louder, easily covering up the two inner monologues becoming one as he comes to a stop at the entrance to the gym.

Sloppily drinking water from a bottle attached to his shorts, he wipes his face with the underside of his tight tank as he wanders inside. He wonders why he’s come in just now. Looking down at his massive arms almost shaking with weariness, at his sweaty chest quivering with spent effort, it’s more than clear he just finished up right?

Looking across the lobby and seeing his whole form reflected, he laughs again. He’s gotta take some post-workout pics, obviously. Stumbling his top heavy self across the gym and into the locker room, he discards the sweat-stained shirt he was almost trapped in and shoots away.

He records a quick vlog explaining his progress, his routine, his plans for the rest of the day. For a moment at the edge of his mind there’s the faintest idea to tell his fans the story of his friends saying he couldn’t pull off a mustache.

Obviously that can’t be the case, he’s had his lip candy for years! If anything he’d say he inspired all those other posers to grow them himself. Flicking through his feed he smirks as he sees countless men who look just like he does, massive, mustached, and full of themselves.

Cockily posting himself he wonders what trend he’ll set next. Of course it’s ridiculous to suggest Grant somehow brought mustaches into vogue. Though as every pair of eyes in the gym trails over to look at the massive man posing and guffawing to themselves, as their hands reflexively go to their own hairless upper lips, perhaps the twunk is setting a trend after all. Perhaps any man is simply waiting to follow his lead.

 His bulge is as unmissable as the mustache on his face as he continues to pose in the gym’s stained mirrors. Behind him he sees how he catches the eyes of a man who’s clearly just starting out. Sending a flex that way he imagines what the young jock would look like with a mustache as he begins to make his way over. Got a thing or two to teach the wanting bro about being a man.

[goodluckeddie]

i know i talk about the competition scene a lot (bc it’s absolute cinema) but something i always think when i watch it is that tommy mostly implied that eddie had feelings for buck, not the other way around, and this is yet to be mentioned in canon bc buck straight up didn’t realise. off the top of my head, the only thing he says about buck’s potential feelings is “you’re living in the guy’s house” of course followed by the notorious renter & straight line from buck. but the conversation starts with him calling eddie “competition” which heavily implies that he thought eddie was actively trying to get with buck. tommy was in competition with eddie bc they were both going for the same prize. and the “he’s straight” “*scoff* okay” also doesn’t make sense if he was just trying to call out buck on his feelings bc he’s literally suggesting eddie is queer, which at its most basic level has nothing to do with buck.

that’s why it’s so so so interesting that buck immediately starts defending himself. he doesn’t even really register that tommy is saying eddie has feelings for him bc he’s prepared himself to shut down people suggesting he loves eddie. realistically he’s probably been preparing for this since he realised he was bi - maybe longer. he had his reasons ready to go and he didn’t hesitate in the slightest to whip them out. and the only reason he would have given himself those reasons is if he knew he loved eddie but thought, consciously, that he could avoid it if he was logical about it. and logic to him is that he can’t be in love with eddie bc eddie is straight (this is, obviously, shit logic).

my very long-winded point is that i think when buck said “he’s straight” he wasn’t even really defending eddie lol he was just defending himself. he hadn’t registered that tommy had called eddie super gay, he had only registered that he thought buck loved eddie, and he just wanted to shut it down. it’s also why his response to “*scoff* okay” is “i don’t have to want to sleep with everyone i have feelings for, and i don’t have to have feelings for everyone i sleep with” which tbh doesn’t make much sense as a reply to tommy essentially saying “eddie’s queer”. bc buck fundamentally was refusing to hear him. his reason for not being in love with eddie is so deeply ingrained in him that he can’t even comprehend the idea of anything different. eddie could probably come out to him and buck would be like “no.” anyway yeah he’s consciously in love with eddie and doing a shit job at hiding it.

[hellsslibrary]

hi so ive been binging ur works lol I love that u write for blue lock and specifically the male reader !!! Sosoo I'd love to request a shidou x mean top male reader ? Like shidou keeps acting out so reader puts him in his place?

I do three things on purpose. I make you cut onions so I don't cry, I cling to you during horror movies because you get too focused, and I bend over in front of you during training because you're a dirty dog (real quotes from my husband as titles day one).

MASTERLIST is here.

#a.n. : You two humiliating a non-existent guy for the size of his dick........ Basic Tuesday for any gays, I guess.

!!Warnings: tom!dom!male!reader, sub!bottom! Shidou, overstimulation, time before the first selection, so you fuck in a room full of other people at night..... So, humiliation of a guy for a dick actually (not in his face tho), sex on a futon, Shidou without hair gel (I heard that someone didn't like Shidou without gel and cried hyperbolically), he calls you 'cupcake' one time.

One hundred and seven times.

You've thought about killing him so many times. Strangle him. Take his head off. Castrate him. Burn him. Drown him... Anything, really. Why is this idiot even more annoying than usual? Who knows. Well, obviously not you.

Your eyes watched him praise a player again. Of course, this is not surprising for him, he is very respectful to good players, but now? Fuck, this is out of bounds.

You can see perfectly well how his hands stay on this guy for too long. And the way his eyes look at you from time to time. It's been repeated too many times today.

Does he want you to crack? But no. He's going to do it today. And it won't just crack, it will come apart at the seams.

The sound of the futon moving can be heard in an almost empty room as your body bends over his, while his face is buried in the pillow, trying not to moan too loudly. Not that he cares about it, but you do very much.

"I'm s-sorry, cu-cupcake, please—!" he exhales raggedly, clutching at the thin fabric, trying with all his might to stabilize himself and his body from your obviously not gentle thrusts, which seemed to knock his soul out of him piece by piece.

A rhetorical question escapes your lips, and an almost animal grin appears on your lips, seeing his condition. "Now we're just barking, right? You forgot how to bite pretty quickly."

Shidou just whimpers, feeling his body twitching from your thrusts inside his sloppy hole. His curls are disheveled on the bed, and some are stuck to his cheeks or neck from sweat. He just couldn't look into your eyes as usual, knowing full well that he would break even more... He dug his own grave after all.

"That guy couldn't have brought you to this state, you know? He definitely has a dick smaller than my little finger," you reason, lowering one of your hands from his waist lower, feeling the muscles of his stomach tighten as you slide over them, reaching his v-shaped line, and then his crotch. "Don't you agree?"

"Fuck, yes! Def-definitely, yes... Probably th-the same size as an a-ant," Ryusei giggles, swallowing his saliva, arching his back harder, which makes you hiss, feeling like he's become a little tighter.

Although his giggles immediately fade away when you grab his overexcited, spent cock. You immediately slap the hand that's trying to stop you, grabbing his length, making him choke on his own sob.

Tears began to form in his eyes, lingering on his blond eyelashes, and then trickling down his cheeks. He couldn't take another round! He wanted to, but probably couldn't. You're huge, you tease him, you fuck him, you humiliate someone for the size of his dick... Did I mention that you're huge? Anyway, it's fucking Hell! He's a fucking puddle under you, even though he wanted to stay under you like that, because that's actually what he wanted.

Maybe you'd be more gentle if your count of murder methods stopped at about sixty.

"Still fucking want me like this, huh? How many times did you cum?" you ask rhetorically, realizing that he won't answer, just smiling, and then slapping his ass, which makes him squeak, and you enjoy his sounds, because you can't see almost anything.

"Don't worry, I'll do it over and over again until you don't even have the thought of leaving me anymore, do you understand?" Ryusei nodded, and his cock jerked in your grip, forcing you to enter him up to the hilt, and then pull your dick out of him, which immediately turns around to look at you. "Or maybe I need to make it so that you can't stand at all without help..."

Shido pales almost immediately, sensing the sincerity in your voice, and then moans too loudly when you thrust into him again. Your hand tangles in his hair, pressing his face back into the pillows so that he doesn't wake anyone up and so that he stops making silly excuses about how he wants you to pull out your dick.

He looked like a black hole right now, honestly. So he'd better not pretend to be a clogged pipe right now.